IC INBOX

[rideme]

"You've got the Iron Bull here. I'm listening.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

TEXT | VOICEMAIL | CALLS

Comments

[rideme]

First, brothels are illegal, then my horns are too big for one of those 'cars', now this.

I'd rather go back into the fuckin' Fade.

[animated]

[ Charlie has no idea what the Fade is, but he's guessing it isn't somewhere nice ]

Come on, it can't be all bad.

[rideme]

Nah, not all.

There's a guy in my bed who's really good with his hands, so. Can't complain too much.

[animated]

[ Charlie arches an eyebrow, a smirk tugging on his lips ] Just my hands?

[rideme]

Oh, more than that. But hey, I'm tired. Going to hold it against me?

[animated]

Depends on what you want me to hold against you. [ okay, he can't even keep a straight face after that one ] God, that was terrible. What have you done to me?

[rideme]

[He just laughs, reaching over to thump Charlie on the shoulder.]

A lot of things, I think. You mad?

[animated]

Nah. Just silently mourning my sense of humor.

[rideme]

We'll give it a little funeral and everything, if you want.

[animated]

No, no. I'm hoping it's only mostly dead.

Which we all know means partially alive.

[rideme]

Riiiiight. Like in that movie, yeah?

[animated]

Just like in that movie, yes.

Anything else exciting happen?

[rideme]

More like what didn't happen.

If you know what I mean.

[animated]

That could mean a whole lot of things, honestly.

[rideme]

I know. I said it on purpose.

[animated]

Well, I'm glad the prospect of being on a plane didn't totally deter you.

[rideme]

Nahh... just the part where they give you the tiny nuts.

Couldn't get that thing open.

[animated]

There's a joke to be made there, but since my sense of humor is mostly dead I can't think of one.

[rideme]

It's probably me not being able to use tiny nuts effectively.

1/

[orangehoodie]

mr nukl

theres bloodin the living room and we have a coue injurd prople in the jojse
cjarlie wants you to bring home painkillers and first aid stuff

please

2/

[orangehoodie]

oh no

/3; now audio

[orangehoodie]

[this is not going to work so ken switches to audio instead. he sounds EXHAUSTED but he enunciates carefully]

Some people are over and they're hurt. So um... painkillers. First-aid.

Please.

audio

[rideme]

[What the hell--]

[Literally nothing about any of these messages bodes well. So of course, he'll detour on his way home. They're just lucky people around here are both used to seeing Bull by now, and not super angry at people like them.]

[He'll throw a voicemail Ken's way, though.]

Got it. Headed home now, kid. Keep it together.

[orangehoodie]

Mmm, I'm okay. I'm just [there is a yawn] gonna be asleep on the couch when you get back, probably. I'm not hurt, I just cast some healing spells so

[another yawn]

I'm just tired. Everyone's out of the woods, so please come home safely.

[rideme]

Right. You do that magic thing.

[He totally forgot, whoops.]

Get some rest, and don't worry about old Iron Bull. I'll be there.