IC INBOX

[rideme]

"You've got the Iron Bull here. I'm listening.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

TEXT | VOICEMAIL | CALLS

Comments

[rideme]

Oh, Varric's friend. What's wrong with her?

[selfpraise]

She smells like a wet dog and threw all my clothing onto the roof.

[rideme]

Didn't smell like wet dog when I saw her...

Why'd she toss your clothes on the roof?

[selfpraise]

I objected to the dogs she was amassing. You know how Fereldan's get.

[rideme]

Well, yeah, but I don't have a problem with dogs.

[selfpraise]

Don't say I didn't warn you.

[The only person who needs to worry is Dorian.]

[rideme]

What did you do to piss off her dog so bad?

[selfpraise]

Dogs. As in the plural, there was at least ten of them.

And all I did was scare them out of my room.

[And out of the house and the neighbourhood. Horror/despair is a useful spell.]

[rideme]

Ten... dogs. What the hell does she need ten dogs for?

Couldn't you just shut the door?

[selfpraise]

I still have to open it to get in or out and they lie in wait for an opening.

[rideme]

Can't you just... magic it or some shit?

[selfpraise]

I did and next thing you know my smalls are on the roof.

[rideme]

Maybe it's a sign you need new ones. Something with lace.

[selfpraise]

[Dorian splutters and then makes a noise of frustration.]

Vishante kaffas, you are insufferable.

[And then he hangs up so he can go and pout.]