rideme | IC INBOX

IC INBOX

"You've got the Iron Bull here. I'm listening.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

TEXT | VOICEMAIL | CALLS

[ she should just call him back because this poor guy, but she's gonna keep texting him because this is way too hilarious ]

I actually think you'd just break the thing if you sat on it

[God dammit Kasumi.]

NA H ITS MAS D EOF ME T A L Y EAAH ???

I'm pretty sure it is?

So. The Iron Bull on a literal iron bull.

OK I DON T S Q U I SH METTA L

[ OKAY she's going to call him now because this is just torture for the big guy she's ~~not~~ sorry she put him through that. ]

You might compromise its structural integrity, though, for real. I don't know if they're designed to handle ginormous beefy Qunari. But you should definitely try it.

[Oh thank the fucking Qun.]

Hey, maybe I've got a delicate, elf-like ass.

[ You're welcome. ]

You have a "delicate, elf-like ass." [ You can practically hear the quotation marks as she speaks. ] Bullshit.

[ She's been waiting to pull that one on him! Yes! ]

[And Bull just plain belts out laughing.]

Oh fuck.

Fuck, that's a good one.

I know.

But seriously. I'm going to drag you to this place and you're going to try that thing after you have, like, fifty drinks or however much it takes to get a giant like you to actually feel alcohol.