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[rideme]

"You've got the Iron Bull here. I'm listening.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

TEXT | VOICEMAIL | CALLS

Comments

[rideme]

[At first, damn, he is impressed. And pleased. Hell yeah, he's got someone all interested. Good job, Iron Bull. He's pleased enough to pick it up, smiling smugly.]

[And BAM.]

[WATER. All over the place. All over his face and chest and huh, maybe he really should start wearing shirts more often. He's swearing and sputtering and it's a long time before he can pick up the card, let alone read it.]

[... there's a long pause, as he reads it over again and again.]

[And then the dripping wet Iron Bull just starts laughing.]

[Kasumi will probably get a message later along the lines of:]




Oh. Okay. Good one.

[stealwithit]

Thanks!

I realized you're probably not sure why I did that. April 1st is called "April Fool's Day," and it's basically a day for pranks. I figured you're relaxed enough to be able to take a joke even without knowing that. So, Happy April Fool's!

[rideme]

You have an entire day for pulling that kind of crap on people?

Shit. Don't tell Sera.




You know. If a little elf with a bow and a thing for Qunari women shows up.

[stealwithit]

[ ... this Sera person sounds like a treat, already. ]

I can't make any promises, big guy.

She's your resident trickster, I take it?

[rideme]

She's uh.

She's something.

She'd be more something if I could just get her to go along with a plan every so often.

[Bull you wanted to throw her at the enemy. That's not a plan.]

[stealwithit]

what kind of plan are we talking, here?

[rideme]

okay so

I WANTED to pick her up, right? pick her up and toss her over the enemy lines

and then

AND THEN

she could come up from behind with her bow, right?? pew pew pew shoot em all in the ass

M A Y H E M

[stealwithit]

wait what was her problem with this plan? It sounds like fun!

[rideme]

well you know

throwing people into a mess of angry armored templars is apparently 'stupid'

[stealwithit]

no way. I don't know what these templar guys are but I bet they're fun to mess with.

[rideme]

depends on what kind of 'mess with' we're talking about

[stealwithit]

popping in and out of sight to confuse them before kicking their asses?

[rideme]

long as they dont see you you should be okay

and long as your popping in and out isnt a magic thing

theyre kind of good about knocking mages flat on their asses

[stealwithit]

oh, not at all. it's all crazy space technology that'll only confuse you if I tried to explain.

[rideme]

okay fair enough

you'd probably be fine then

[stealwithit]

yeah, okay, good. but what are these armored templar guys like, exactly?

[rideme]

annoying for the most part

but if youre not a mage you generally dont got to worry much

or you didnt Until some asshole mage out in Kirkwall blew up a chantry and kicked off a war

[stealwithit]

boo, that guy. ruining things for the rest of you.

but that really does sound rough. I feel like you and I need to have a talk about our respective universes.

[rideme]

boo yeah. to the extreme

im down

maybe after the mechanical bull thing

[stealwithit]

deal.

have you had a chance to try burgers since you've gotten here?

[rideme]

oh hell yeah

that shit is GOOD

[stealwithit]

oh thank god. I was so worried you hadn't tried them yet.

what about french fries?

[rideme]

YES

and

ICE CREAM

[stealwithit]

and milkshakes?

they're like ice cream but in drink form.

I personally can't have any but I know they're good.

[rideme]

in DRINK FORM?? SHIT

I NEED one yesterday



how come you can't have any?