[ Hello, friend. On this beautiful spring day of April the 1st, you will either return to your desk at work or return to the front door of your residence to find a singular red rose in a simple vase, complete with ribbon and mysterious card.
If you deign to move the vase even the slightest bit, you'll find that either: A) the rose is not indeed a rose and squirts you in the face with water. Like, a lot of water. Basically all the water in the vase. Or, B) it is indeed a real flower, but a fake plastic spider or cockroach is launched into your face by some mysterious mechanism rigged onto the vase.
Pick your poison.
(By the way, the card reads, "Been thinking about you, big guy. You feeling horny lately?" With a mark of lipstick in a color that seems eerily similar to the shade of purple that's always on a certain mysterious hooded lady's lips. For the less likely to catch on to that hint, the back of the card is signed, "Just kidding. - K" ]
[At first, damn, he is impressed. And pleased. Hell yeah, he's got someone all interested. Good job, Iron Bull. He's pleased enough to pick it up, smiling smugly.]
[And BAM.]
[WATER. All over the place. All over his face and chest and huh, maybe he really should start wearing shirts more often. He's swearing and sputtering and it's a long time before he can pick up the card, let alone read it.]
[... there's a long pause, as he reads it over again and again.]
[And then the dripping wet Iron Bull just starts laughing.]
[Kasumi will probably get a message later along the lines of:]
I realized you're probably not sure why I did that. April 1st is called "April Fool's Day," and it's basically a day for pranks. I figured you're relaxed enough to be able to take a joke even without knowing that. So, Happy April Fool's!
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April 1st
If you deign to move the vase even the slightest bit, you'll find that either: A) the rose is not indeed a rose and squirts you in the face with water. Like, a lot of water. Basically all the water in the vase. Or, B) it is indeed a real flower, but a fake plastic spider or cockroach is launched into your face by some mysterious mechanism rigged onto the vase.
Pick your poison.
(By the way, the card reads, "Been thinking about you, big guy. You feeling horny lately?" With a mark of lipstick in a color that seems eerily similar to the shade of purple that's always on a certain mysterious hooded lady's lips. For the less likely to catch on to that hint, the back of the card is signed, "Just kidding. - K" ]
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[And BAM.]
[WATER. All over the place. All over his face and chest and huh, maybe he really should start wearing shirts more often. He's swearing and sputtering and it's a long time before he can pick up the card, let alone read it.]
[... there's a long pause, as he reads it over again and again.]
[And then the dripping wet Iron Bull just starts laughing.]
[Kasumi will probably get a message later along the lines of:]
Oh. Okay. Good one.
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I realized you're probably not sure why I did that. April 1st is called "April Fool's Day," and it's basically a day for pranks. I figured you're relaxed enough to be able to take a joke even without knowing that. So, Happy April Fool's!
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Shit. Don't tell Sera.
You know. If a little elf with a bow and a thing for Qunari women shows up.
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I can't make any promises, big guy.
She's your resident trickster, I take it?
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She's something.
She'd be more something if I could just get her to go along with a plan every so often.
[Bull you wanted to throw her at the enemy. That's not a plan.]
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I WANTED to pick her up, right? pick her up and toss her over the enemy lines
and then
AND THEN
she could come up from behind with her bow, right?? pew pew pew shoot em all in the ass
M A Y H E M
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throwing people into a mess of angry armored templars is apparently 'stupid'
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and long as your popping in and out isnt a magic thing
theyre kind of good about knocking mages flat on their asses
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you'd probably be fine then
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but if youre not a mage you generally dont got to worry much
or you didnt Until some asshole mage out in Kirkwall blew up a chantry and kicked off a war
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but that really does sound rough. I feel like you and I need to have a talk about our respective universes.
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im down
maybe after the mechanical bull thing
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have you had a chance to try burgers since you've gotten here?
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that shit is GOOD
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what about french fries?
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and
ICE CREAM
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they're like ice cream but in drink form.
I personally can't have any but I know they're good.
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ok it's text but i actually just couldn't resist
bless